already behind... but doing it anyway!

ok.

so epic fail on checking in last week for #sexback12! but in my defense, i was setting up a fireworks stand and opening it on the day we were supposed to check in! i actually wanted to begin most of my goals on july 1 anyway, so that kind of worked out. here's where i'm sitting:

physically:::::

oh my!!! this one i am doing surprisingly well with! it's actually the one that i'm doing the best at too.
last week was my first week on only 3 Pepsis a week. and guess what!!! I DID IT!!! that, my friends, is a HUGE accomplishment in my book! i had three. and technically i had one diet strawberry shasta. but it was caffeine and sugar free. :)

other HUGE accomplishment for me... today i started my couch to 5k with steff! she is seriously like, the BEST friend EVER! we went out at 6:30 this morning. it was insanely humid, but only 75 degrees. it was nuts! we made it through the first six of eight runs as the program tells you. then we (read "i") had to pause it and walk for an extra minute and a half or two minutes. i was having a bit of an issue catching my breath. :) but after that extra little bit of walking, we finished to the cycle! i'm sore in places i didn't know i could be, but overall, i feel quite accomplished! i told a few people today that i went running this morning. the looks on some of their faces were pretty hilarious! so what if it was only for eight non-consecutive minutes! it's more intentional running than i've done in at least 15 years! it feels good!

mental:::::

i've been reading through more of empty promises. still not through as much of it as i'd like to be, but i'm making some progress! the things i'm gleaning from EP are amazing! God is definitely using pete's writing to draw me closer to Him!

spiritually:::::

i'm still a complete mess. this week i didn't really do much at all to improve on this one. :( i've worked the fireworks stand for a week, packed that up, then had a wedding to coordinate this weekend, and coffee bar people to train this morning. *yawn* i'm tired. so this one has definitely been what i've slacked on the most. i'm hoping that this week will give me some time to catch up though. :) reading and writing out the Gospels. it's going to be great once i can get into the swing of it!

oh! another cool thing: Race For Freedom! we haven't registered yet, but i'm pretty sure that Steff and i are going to be running in this thing! our C25K will end on september 4 or 6 (i can't remember which one) and the Race for Freedom is on september 8. :) so that's the plan. we may see if we can get a small group of us to run in it together. :) it could be a ton of fun!!!

so that's where i'm at. sitting here at mead's next to an amazing friend willing to run with me in the middle or horrendous heat during her summer break. she's a HUGE encouragement and blessing to me that i don't think i fully deserve! she's seriously the best friend EVER!

how are you all holding up, ragamuffins?

:::andrea:::

my momma

so i was writing a post about me and my insecurities... and realized that that's not what i want to write about tonight. i want to write about my momma.

she's been through more in the last three and a half years than i think i could possibly ever endure. she's shown more grace, more compassion, more wisdom, and more strength than any other woman i've ever seen.

it all started three and a half years ago when grandma joyce, my mom's mom, went into the hospital. she and grandpa had both been ill around Christmas in 2006, so we didn't get so spend Christmas with them like we usually did. a couple of days after Christmas, grandma went into the hospital. after tons of tests, we learned that she had an inoperable tumor in her brain. treatment wasn't likely to be too effective. it sucked.

but i watched momma as she cared for grandma. she made sure that she was at the hospital all day long. every day. she waited with grandma for answers. she kept everyone informed. she put her life on hold to care for her momma. i don't know a ton about momma's childhood, but i know that grandma and grandpa were very hard on momma in a lot of ways. so much so that grandma and mom's relationship suffered. but i watched momma put all of that aside and focus on caring and loving grandma and grandpa through everything.

for four months, we went through treatment. in and out of the hospital in wichita and in hutch. here... there... all over. and momma still made herself available and was there whenever she could be. she was still teaching full time during the whole thing as well. her students' education didn't suffer a bit. they didn't miss a beat. she was amazing through it all.

losing grandma is one of the hardest things that i've ever been through. i can't imagine how hard it was for momma. there were so many times she was there with a warm smile and a reminder that we all know where grandma is. that we'll see her again. that we're only separated for a while.

losing your mom is something i NEVER want to go through. i don't think that i could handle it with half of the grace and faith that momma has.

factor in that the last three-ish years momma has had horrid principals and experiences at school... good night. she had so many different things getting thrown at her. she was torn down repeatedly by her peers. made to feel like she couldn't be an effective teacher any more. she was constantly told that she was wrong and that her kids weren't learning anything. all of these things were such lies!

and yet, momma held her tongue when she needed to. she stood up for herself when she could. she didn't let her temper get the better of her. she was patient with the people that seemed out to ruin her and everything that she has put into teaching for the last 16 years. she jumped through the hoops she was forced to jump through. she did everything they told her to.

i won't lie to you and say that she did it all with a huge smile on her face. because she most definitely didn't do that. who could? yeah, there were a couple of times that she almost let harsh and hurtful words come out of her mouth. she is human, after all.

but through everything, she always told me the same thing: she prayed for all of those people. all of those people that hurt her. that continue to have such a detrimental effect on my mom. she continues to pray for them even now. does she like them? absolutely not. but she still continues to pray for her enemies. prays that they will come to know Christ and the saving grace that he provides.

she's not teaching anymore. and i know that she's struggling with finding who she is now that she's not teaching full time. suddenly not doing something that you've done every day for the last 16 years is something i can't even imagine.

she's a retired teacher now. not necessarily by her choice either. she may not be in a classroom anymore. but my momma... she's still a teacher. she's one of the best teachers anyone could ever learn from. she's shown great humility. she's shown great compassion. she's shown perseverance. she's shown love. she's shown patience. she's shown grace. she's shown strength. she's shown faith.

all of this rambling (and i really did ramble a lot there, didn't i?) to really only say one thing:

i'm proud of my momma.

i couldn't ask for a better person for God to have chosen to raise me. she's everything i ever want to be in a woman. in a wife. in a mother.

she's the best example i've ever known.

she's my momma.