my email to jon:
I’ve been reading your blog for more than a year now. You might remember the “only lawn you’ve ever wanted to side hug.” That was me. I read your blog nearly every day, and today REALLY worked on my heart. I was going to post this as a comment, but it turns out that it’s too long. So I decided to email it to you instead. Thank you for your faithfulness to what God has asked you to write. He uses you more than you will ever know. But today, I wanted you to know how much He used you.
I’ve been really caught up in a lot of busy work at the church lately and decided I really needed to read your post today for some reason. and now I know why.
Working in the church is hard, I know that I don't have to tell a lot of people that. It's something that most people know. But people don't realize that when you work in a church, you can start to move away from God. It doesn’t just happen to pastors and preachers and elders. It happens to secretaries and ministry assistants too.
Personally, I’ve completely stopped doing any sort of quiet time at all. I no longer attend our young adult activities. I’m no longer connected to anyone in the church. After all, “I’ve got to get the bulletin done for Sunday morning. The newsletter is supposed to go out in two days. We've got life groups launching. This ministry needs this and this ministry needs that. I need to get this and this and this done. Oh and I can’t forget this over here too.” I’ve allowed my work to get in the way of everyone. I’ve distanced myself from everyone in the church. I don't interact with the body in any sort of way outside of work. I dread going to worship on Sunday morning. I’ve allowed my “ministry” to get in the way of God.
There's something that I’ve slowly begun to realize recently and it's really hit me full force today. While working at the church is a good thing and doing all the things I do can be good as well, that's not what's important to God. God isn't concerned with the new layout of the newsletter. His work doesn't hinge on my ability to publish a bulletin. He wants to work in my heart. He wants to work through my heart. if I don't spend time with Him, if I stay stagnate and don't grow, none of it matters at all. He gave me talents, He gave me abilities, but most of all He's given me grace. He wants to use my talents and abilities. He wants those. But more than that, He wants me. He wants my heart. He wants my soul. He wants me.
So today... today marks my comeback.
Thanks Jon. Know that today God used you to help a secretary in a church in the middle of Kansas find her way back to Him.
Sorry this was long, but God’s been working a lot on my heart this morning. Thank you for your willingness to be used.
so today it begins. my comeback. say some prayers for me. this is definitely NOT going to be easy.