my only excuse for not writing before now?
that's right. i've been hiding. though i'm pretty sure i haven't really been missed at all. i know that i've gotten the occasional page visit over the last several months, but other than that i really don't think that anyone follows my blog at all.
so the fact that i've been hiding is quite ridiculous. go ahead. laugh. i'm kind of laughing inside right now.
so yeah. i hide. what do i hide from?
well, pretty much everything.
i hide from relationships the most i think. why?
fear, i think.
i'm afraid of being truly known. i'm afraid of people knowing everything about me and not accepting me.
so what do i do? i shut them out.
i don't share things.
i keep everyone at a distance.
i hold all of my cards close to my chest.
i don't let people in, not matter how hard they try.
people think they know me.
but really... they have no idea who i am.
and if i'm honest, most days i don't know who i am either.